The year of 2013 has been a year of deep refinement for me. These refinements have greatly been shaped by several enormous revelations that knocked on my heart and mind this year. I feel deep in my bones and Spirit that I actually know quite little ….and part of this revelation is about embracing the humanity within me. At the same time I’ve been incredibly humbled by the vastness of Nature’s intelligence this year – which includes the beauty and wisdom that each of my family members, co-workers, fellow teachers, peers and students hold within and so graciously continue to share with me. These revelations allowed me to recognize the limitations and thresholds of my humanity and at the same time surrender to the forces of Nature so that they can pour through me and fill me up.
Tears come to my eyes as I think about all of the people who have been so supportive of me over the years – and most specifically this past year (because it was a big one for me)….standing by my side regardless of my state of ‘being’ or pulsating moments of disconnection of my heart, mind and Spirit….I feel these people could see into my inner most (heart space) intentions. Sangha members take a vow to be by your side….providing a mirror for us to see what needs to be addressed, but even more importantly providing unconditional love…..and it is this love that allows each of us to feel safe enough to reveal our true nature and authentic self. I’m forever and humbly grateful for all of the Beloveds (sangha members) in my life who continue to love me and stand by me. You know who you are. I LOVE YOU more than words will EVER EVER be able to capture. And for those who didn’t stand by side or continue to move in & out of my web – each of you served me with an incredible amount of awareness as the back of your heart reflected my patterns as you turned to walk away. I then proceeded to target these patterns (and continue to do so) in my practices, and if it wasn’t for you and how our relationship unfolded, I may not have been given the opportunity for such refinement. I have an immense amount of LOVE and gratitude for each of you too and for our moment-to-moment interactions. I highlight interactions because so much is communicated underneath the words. These interactions served as potent and alchemizing experiences of growth for me - thank you thank you thank you.
This year was a year of refining relationships as well… relationships with certain engrained behaviors/ nebulous weather patterns of thoughts AND also many personal relationships with people. Through my meditation practices I began to honour Nature’s course and allow certain relationships to manifest, others remain intact, several dissolve, a few became concealed/resting in a state of unknown and other relationships revealed their purposes (which always provides a level of healing at this stage). This has been a very healing process for me ….by taking time to honour relationships in my meditation practices and accepting the various stages of each relationship's trajectory instead of gripping or pushing.
Many experiences this past year brought me to juncture with feeling deeply humbled…in other words – melted by the beauty of so many different people and teachings. Just to name a few: teaching in Saint John’s Newfoundland, Toronto, London, Amsterdam, Germany, Victoria….Wanderlust…embarking on homeschooling my children….celebration of 10 years with my husband… honouring my father’s 70th birthday…conducting my first solo 200 hour Teacher Training in Bali with a group of beautiful souls…studying at the Iyengar Yoga Institute in Pune India….rejoicing the depth of my relationships with my dear friends/business partners Ryan, Dustin & Karlito...sustaining my commitment to veganism...holding progressive studies and mentorships with incredibly skilled students…studying under Louie Ettling…deeply appreciating the bond with my assistant & soul sister Alli Shafer....and many more.
Bhakta is Devotee. I’ve made a vow to commit myself to being a Devotee/Bhakta of Grace (i.e., Shakti) - as cheesy or abstract that may sound to some of you. As a Bhakta of Shakti, I bow to the creative forces that nourish, cleanse & manifest pathways so that we can experience the moment-to-moment taste of being ‘alive’. I hold an almighty level of shradda (faith) in Grace’s power to expose my dharma....which serves as the primary source of my commitment to the vow. One remembrance or mantra that I hold in my pocket and turn to daily as her Bhakta is to ‘let-go’ into the rhythms of Nature which unfold exactly what needs to be revealed (knowing that this revealing/unfolding also includes painful, ugly, uncomfortable, embarrassing circumstances along with bright, joyful, sensational and humorous matters). I'm also under the impression (and have included this in my vow) that being a Bhakta to Grace requires a level of courage to step into a state of fierceness when needed. This fierceness is at times demanded from Nature in order to bring us one step closer to being awake.
These next few months are similar to an extended sunrise….very potent times for practice…..many windows of opportunities to invite illumination into your life in some level or context. This year I am asking myself – how can my intentions serve as guardians of the planet and assist in global responsibility so that the song of Mother Earth can be heard. How about you?
May each of your intentions manifest to their fullest expression.
Thank you so so so much for everything that you are – each of you!
Ask your inner wisdom to lead you